I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize