Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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