What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
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He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
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I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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