Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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