I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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