how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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