The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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