My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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