I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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