fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
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I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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