Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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