you didnt know i had herpes?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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