Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize