Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize