if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize