He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
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She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
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He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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