If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize