i don't like sucking hair
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize