was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I came so hard my ears popped.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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