my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize