I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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