I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize