I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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