From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize