I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize