I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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