So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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