I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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