So drunk its hurt
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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