Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You ruined the universe
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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