put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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