look no pants
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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