It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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