ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize