It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
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That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
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did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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