well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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