im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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