The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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