There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize