Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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