did you get engaged???
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
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U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize