I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize