My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
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I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
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How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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