So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
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My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize