i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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