if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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