I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
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You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
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How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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