I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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