'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize