I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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